Method we will use is called “IGROWS” turn our sadness into joy. (Issue, Goals, Reality, Options, Willingness and Smiles
Thank you so much for joining in our Sadness Diet and the journey to happier times.
Feedback From Yesterday
I hope yesterday you were inspired to sit down and write down the things you are going to do to help you to smile or laugh more often.
It is just amazing what a difference a smile or a good laugh can make to us. Remember if you need help, you can email me firstname.lastname@example.org As we have completed the IGROWS model, from now on we will refer to it as a way of checking that you have completed all the activities set.
You can use the IGROWS model to sort out decisions you have to make or a goal you want to achieve.
Today: How To Cope with Discouragement
There are times in our life when we get discouraged and feel like giving up – as I get older in life, I realise that most situation like discouragement is temporary.
The other day, I was so discouraged just because of a remark someone made.
I could not even sleep as I started to question the things I do and why I wanted to do them. I had to take time out to breathe, pray, meditate and speak to a good friend of mine,
Discouragement – The Signs
The following are some signs of discouragement:
Sleeplessness -- the mind and soul is full of worry.
Restlessness -- Absent mindedness sets in and weariness results.
Complacency -- Loss of interest in food even though you might not have eaten for hours.
How to Cope with Discouragement
1.Take the Long View
Discouragement generally occurs when our expectations (what we think should happen) don’t align with reality (what actually happens).
If we take a longer view, and relax our expectations a little, it can really help to decrease discouragement.
The reality is that most things that are worthwhile take a lot of effort and time to come to fruition. So be patient!
2. Remember, There is No Such Thing as Failure. There is Only Education
We can choose, instead of thinking of failure as bad, to think of failure as education, and therefore good.
When we view it this way we realize that failure isn’t something that is bad, or something to be avoided. It is simply feedback. It is simply education. When we think this way we ease discouragement.
3. Stay True To Our Vision. See it Again In Our Mind
If we are feeling discouraged, think about our vision.
Think about what we want to create in our life. See it clearly. Feel what it would feel like if the image came into reality.
What would this mean for us? How would we feel?
Once we see it, and feel it, we will also feel empowered and our discouragement will dissipate.
4. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others. We’re on a Unique Path
Don’t compare yourself to others.
We are on a unique path. It is great to be inspired by another, but if by hearing another’s story, we feel that we are lesser, then we need to just focus on our own path.
5. Change Our “Rules” for Being Happy
What rule do we have to be happy? What has to happen for us to feel successful? Is it in our control? If it isn’t then we might be setting ourselves up for failure.
By rules I mean the set of circumstances that must be present for us to feel accomplished.
For example if I have a rule that says something has to happen to feel successful, what if I don’t ever reach it? Or even worse, does it mean that I never get to feel successful until I reach it? That is a sad way to live.
We have to create rules that serve us. We have to live by rules that are within our control.
Here are some of my rules:
I am successful when I grow and improve.
I am successful when I give my very best.
6. Consider Who we are Spending Time With
The people who we spend the most time with might be a major contributing factor to feeling discouragement.
This can be a very hard one, especially if those people are family and loved ones.
We have a tendency to become who we most frequently associate with, and if we spend all our time with people who are constantly negative, and feeling sorry for themselves, we can be influenced to see life through a similar lens. So what can we do?
We can’t simply cut loved ones out of our lives. So what we should do is simply expand our social network.
Join a peer group that is positive. Start to surround ourselves with positive people as a balance. Over time we will start to take on their mindset and this will help with any feelings of discouragement we may have.
7. Get Outside, Move and Breathe
Fresh air and sunshine can have an amazing effect on our feelings.
Sometimes when we are feeling down, all that we need to do is simply to go outside and breathe.
Movement and exercise is also a fantastic way to feel better.
Positive emotions can be generated by motion. So if we start to feel down, take some deep breathes, go outside, feel the fresh air, let the sun hit our face, go for a hike, a walk, a bike ride, a swim, a run, whatever.
We will feel better if we do this.
8. Talk to Someone
When I feel discouraged, I do find comfort in talking to someone.
Depending on what I am feeling discouraged about, I have various people I can talk to e.g my mum, a good friend, my mentor and when I was really discouraged a few years back, I even called the Samaritan’s helpline as I really just wanted someone who did not know me to just listen and be their for me.
9. Help Someone Who Needs Help
This is a great way to alleviate discouragement. Go find someone who needs help, and then help them. It is really that simple.
When we serve others, when we go out of our way to help other people in need, we feel better.
It is impossible to be discouraged when we are giving all our efforts on behalf of another.
Discouragement is a really a self-driven symptom. We are focusing on ourselves. That is why we feel bad. Something isn’t right in “our” life.
However, when we stop thinking about ourselves, and when we direct our attention to another, we feel better. So today, be encouraged do not be discouraged, focus on the now – may the SMILE be with you always. Instant Feel Good
Breathe in slowly and Breathe out Slowly ( do this a couple of times).
Breathe in slowly and then laugh out loud slowly (do this a couple of times).
Say - "I am so grateful and happy to be alive to see another day."
Think and focus on something that makes you feel happy or my favourite “wake up I feel happy boom, boom, I feel like dancing around boom boom, and now I am dancing line no one’s watching boom, boom”.
Smile – Just spend a few seconds smiling, and then I want you to give out a couple of big laughs (hahaha).
Get your Gift of a smile box, and make use of the items as you continue to feel good and smile.
See you tomorrow and may the SMILE always be with you!