VICTORIA AWELE-GRIFFITH
As the Founder and Director of Spectacular Woman and The Live-Wise Foundation for Teens, Victoria has developed a range of programmes and workshops that have transformed the lives of many women (and men).
In 2017 she was awarded the Freedom for Women’s Advocate Award and was selected within the top 100 women in 2018 to receive the Star Award and Megan Award for her contribution to humanity.
She was alsowon the Be Mogul Award in 2018/2019 for Influential Inspirational Black Entrepreneurs in Britain Today, as well as the Banton Award 2020 for service to education.
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22 Jul 2022
There is a lot of talk around narcissists and empaths, how do you support women to overcome these challenges?
I support women to heal from toxic and abusive relationships through my ‘Six Steps to Healing Your Heart’ programme.
On the program there is a strong focus on recognising the signs of narcissist behaviour.
I aim to support them in overcoming this challenge so they do not repeat old patterns around mindset and behaviour.
By introducing new strategies and tools to help them refocus their mind for a healthier version of themselves, I help them to achieve their authentic YOU.
I believe it is important to help build resilience and instil self-worth and self-love with the women I work with.
This will help them to better understand their subconscious mind so they can bloom and become the best version of themselves in the future.
As a survivor of domestic abuse, do you feel women are getting enough quality support and advice?
There is a lot of support out there for women who have experience DV. However, it’s not a one size fits all.
Women must be ready for the healing journey and be persistent in the pursuit of changing their internal dialog to attract a safe feeling in future relationships.
A good solution in my opinion is ‘healing’ and doing the internal work.
My ‘Six Steps to Healing Your Heart’ programme, has had much success for women who were ready and willing to allow me to hold their hand through this sensitive process.
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Do you feel the Domestic Abuse Bill launched by the government goes far enough to tackle this issue?
The Domestic Abuse Bill is very strategic in tackling the issues around victims and perpetrators.
However, in order for individuals, both men and women to totally overcome the challenges of abuse and rebuild their lives, the work needed has to start internally.
In addition, there needs to be a focus on protection, safety and the on-going emotional support that is needed for victims of DV.
Why do you feel women struggle to ‘heal’ in their relationships?
I feel that women cannot heal whilst still in a toxic or abusive relationship.
Once out of that relationship, they can then begin the work to recover.
Through my observations in meeting women along my path or coaching women some are struggling to let go of a past hurt because they don’t know how to.
Many women avoid doing the work or refuse to invest in their emotional wellbeing.
So, they end up repeating the cycle themselves, which also filters onto their children, if they have any. Then the cycle of dysfunction begins all over again.
Some women believe because they are out of an abusive relationship, that it’s enough.
No more violence, emotional, psychological, financial, or sexual abuse can take place. (No more pain and hurt) Yes, that is true.
However, the biggest hurt or pain comes if she does not heal and do the necessary work, to move past any triggers she may encounter, or to build herself back up to a place of Choosing Herself; Me First; Self1st every time.
What impact does this have on their career or running their businesses in the long term?
I believe this could have a huge impact, not just in their careers or businesses, but also on their mental, emotional and psychical health.
Their self-confidence is blurred with self-doubt and self-defeating thoughts and more importantly, the words they speak about and to themselves.
Believe me, it then becomes a downward spiral caught up in a cycle of emotional pain.
The sad part is that they are not fulfilling their full potential to become the best version of themselves. Without a doubt, they are.
So, in my opinion, without healing, the impact could be detrimental to their overall longtime life success and progress.
Believe me, when women do not properly heal, they ultimately block their progress. In terms of building positive and successful relationships.
Their limiting beliefs hold them back from seeing opportunities and taking healthy risks that could potentially catapult their businesses or careers.
How have things changed since writing Unshakeable You?
Since writing my book my life purpose has come to the surface. I am here to help other women and young girls to heal from trauma and domestic abuse.
When I first started my business, my focus was solely on building self-esteem and confidence in the corporate and business world.
Whilst writing Unshakeable You, I would consider myself to have been still on my healing journey. Writing enabled me to heal from unresolved hidden trauma from within.
It is pleasing to know that I have evolved from a surface level individual into an unapologetic, fearless, soul-centered, spirited woman.
This empowering confidence supports my work as a life coach when working with women to heal from within.
Do you still believe women are still facing ‘glass ceiling’ barriers?
100%, especially those from African and Caribbean backgrounds.
There are a small percentage of women who break through this barrier, however, it is still a major challenge for most, especially those from a corporate background.
There are so many issues to unpack here, in terms of gender disparities, the pay-gap between men and women; men of color and white men, women of color and white women.
The powers that be should really think about the concept of equally and what it really means; so that the word ‘equally’ is not used lightly, as it currently is, in order to tick boxes.
If organisations want to demonstrate true equity and inclusion, then fairness and equal treatment for all, regardless of the color of your skin should be built into their systems, policies and culture.
Women ‘lack confidence’–myth or self-sabotaging behaviour?
This narrative is self-sabotaging to women, rather than myth.
Women can lose their confidence if they believe this narrative.
What they need to do if they feel they have lost their confidence is take the necessary steps to build it back up.
This narrative speaks volumes, as there are various circumstance that will enable a woman to lose her confidence.
My belief is, women don’t have to stay in that self-limiting, lack of confidence head space. There are so many resources, counsellors, coaches out their who can help.
In my experience women who have experienced domestic violence tend to lose their confidence because there is a lack trust; trust of others and most importantly trust of SELF.
Sadly, they do not trust themselves. This is partly where the issues lie.
Ultimately it all comes back to SELF, working on yourself and how much that woman values herself will determine her level of confidence.
Self-love, self-worth and ultimately radical self-acceptance, will bring peace.
What message is this sending out to our next generation of female leaders?
The advice I would give to our next generation of female leaders, is for them to get to know themselves first. By spending time with themselves.
Take time to truly understand who they are. Making sure they have clear boundaries in place not just for dating, but for life in general.
They need to be clear about what they consider to be appropriate and inappropriate behaviour in regards to whether they are at work, dating and their friendship groups.
Building a healthy relationship with themselves will help them immensely and will show up in their career, friendship groups and dating.
I believe this is a good starting point for young people, as this will enable them to pay attention to any area of their life that does not serve them.
How do you support young people to make healthy dating choices through your programs?
I designed the ‘Safely in Luv’ Prevention Program to enable young people to build successful, healthy relationships with self and others.
The core foundations of the programme focuses on self-worth, self-respect and self-love.
We empower and teach young people about using their VOICE constructively, especially if they feel or see the signs of being in a toxic, controlling relationship.
This helps them to set clear and consistent boundaries so they can identify what a healthy and unhealthy relationship looks likes.
It also helps them to make informed decisions about their relationships and enables them to identify toxic ones that are not good for them.
We focus on building up young people to have successful relationships with themselves first and then with others.
Tell us more about your new program Consciousness Quest?
Consciousness Quest is a six-week mediation program, which helps to awaken the mind to its fullest potential.
I teach this twice a year online, starting at 6am in the morning once a week for 1.15 minutes.
This program teaches participates new ways of connecting within through the art of meditation.
Participates leave having more peace, love and harmony in their lives.
Through the meditation practice it has enabled participates to practice more gratitude, which supports them to have an abundance of health and wellness.
Regulating their energy to a higher vibration so they can attract and manifest more into their lives.
Which characteristics and habits do you think have contributed the most to your success?
The characteristic and habits that have contributed to my success have been staying persistence; focused and never giving up.
If something hasn’t worked out, I reflect on what I could have done differently and try to incorporate this going forward.
I believe in weathering the storms….. by taking the good and the bad.
As you know business is never plain sailing. So, I have learnt to always pray and seek guidance from within in terms of what steps I need to take next. It is important that I remove myself from negative things and people and associate with people who are on a mission to achieve greater things in life.
It is important that I Invest in myself and my business in whatever way I see fit, in terms of what is going to enhance me and what I do.
What next?
Watch this space. I will be doing my first live event September 2022 called Radically YOU!.
This is all about self-acceptance and self-care. It is aimed at individuals who are ready to start their healing journey and for those already on it.
I see healing within as an intentional process which requires the individual to be radical on this journey.
Understanding the intentionality behind this process helps to pull individuals into a space of healing knowing that the best is yet to come once they begin to do the work.
I am committed to women’s transformation. I only want to see them win, heal and succeed in the next season of their lives.