Exposing 7 Types of Narcissists and How to Survive Them
“Narcissists will seek to make everything about themselves while diminishing the value of others.” — Dr. Ramani Durvasula, Should I Stay or Should I Go?
In the world of relationships, both personal and professional, narcissistic behaviour can be extremely damaging and difficult to identify at first. We’re not specialists or a psychotherapist, but recognising certain narcissist traits is an empowering first step toward protecting yourself and avoiding reoccurring mistakes.
Whether you’ve dealt with this in the past or are navigating a current relationship with a narcissist, this post will help you spot the signs and provide ways to survive and thrive despite the challenges.
Narcissism can present itself in many forms, and while it’s easy to assume all narcissists are the same, their behaviours often differ based on their personality. Understanding these variations can help you prepare for and manage these relationships more effectively.
1. The Grandiose Narcissist
Grandiose narcissists are often the most recognisable. They crave attention, admiration, and will go to great lengths to be the centre of every conversation or room. They believe they are superior to others and expect preferential treatment simply because of who they are. Their need for validation is constant, and they may become angry or dismissive if they don’t receive the admiration they believe they’re entitled to. You’ll often find them bragging about their accomplishments, exaggerating their successes, and downplaying the achievements of others.
To survive a grandiose narcissist, it’s essential to set firm boundaries. Understand that their self-centred behaviour is not a reflection of your worth. You don’t owe them admiration simply because they demand it, and it’s important not to fall into the trap of constantly catering to their needs for validation. Your value is independent of their perception of you.
2. The Covert Narcissist
As Shahida Arabi says, “Covert narcissists weaponise their vulnerability to exploit the empathy of others.” Unlike the more obvious grandiose type, covert narcissists are subtle and insidious. They often play the victim to manipulate those around them, gaining sympathy and control through their supposed helplessness. While they may come across as humble or sensitive, this is often a tactic to mask their self-centredness.
Surviving a covert narcissist requires vigilance. Emotional manipulation is their key weapon, so it’s important to recognise when their "vulnerability" is being used to control you. Their goal is to make you feel guilty for asserting yourself, so you stay in the relationship out of a misplaced sense of obligation. Remember, your compassion shouldn’t be exploited. Learn to separate genuine empathy from manipulation.
3. The Malignant Narcissist
Malignant narcissists are the most dangerous type, combining narcissism with cruelty, aggression, and a complete lack of empathy. They often derive pleasure from causing harm, whether emotional, physical, or psychological. Manipulative and vindictive, they will go out of their way to destroy the self-esteem, success, or happiness of those around them.
Surviving a malignant narcissist isn’t just about setting boundaries—it’s about getting distance. These individuals are toxic, and your safety and mental health should be your top priority. Engaging with them will only draw you deeper into their harmful behaviours, so the best strategy is to remove yourself from their sphere as much as possible. Protect your well-being, and don’t be afraid to completely cut ties if necessary.
4. The Communal Narcissist
Communal narcissists often appear to be the heroes of their social groups. They thrive on public recognition for their "good deeds" and often use charity and acts of kindness as a way to boost their ego. However, their actions are not driven by a genuine desire to help others but by the need for validation and praise. They often portray themselves as the "saviour" of others, expecting admiration in return.
When dealing with a communal narcissist, it’s important to focus on their actions, not appearances. Just because they seem kind-hearted doesn’t mean their intentions are pure. Watch for signs that their acts of charity are being used to manipulate others or gain social capital. Don’t let yourself be swayed by their public persona—what matters is how they treat people in private and whether their behaviour aligns with genuine kindness.
5. The Somatic Narcissist
Somatic narcissists are obsessed with their physical appearance. Whether it’s through fitness, beauty, or fashion, they derive their self-worth from how they look and the attention they receive because of it. You’ll often find them in the gym, at the club, or constantly checking their reflection—seeking validation from those around them for their appearance.
If you’re involved with a somatic narcissist, it’s crucial to remember that real value isn’t skin-deep. Don’t fall into the trap of competing for attention based on physical attributes or constantly trying to meet their standards of beauty. Recognise your own worth beyond the superficial, and don’t let their obsession with appearance overshadow your individuality.
6. The Cerebral Narcissist
Cerebral narcissists see their intelligence as the most important aspect of who they are. They derive their sense of superiority from their intellectual achievements and are quick to belittle others they perceive as less intelligent. In conversation, they may dominate discussions, dismiss the opinions of others, and treat differing perspectives as beneath them.
To survive a cerebral narcissist, it’s essential to stand firm in your intelligence and avoid engaging in unnecessary competition. A healthy relationship should be built on mutual respect, not one person constantly needing to prove they’re the smartest in the room. Don’t let their arrogance make you feel inferior—intelligence should be shared, not weaponised.
7. The Victim Narcissist
The victim narcissist constantly plays the role of the wronged individual. They use this persona to draw attention and sympathy from others, often blaming everyone else for their misfortunes. No matter what happens, they position themselves as the victim, which can make it difficult to see through their manipulation.
Surviving a victim narcissist requires strong emotional boundaries. Don’t fall into the trap of constantly trying to "fix" their problems or take responsibility for their happiness. Their tactic is to make you feel guilty or responsible for their situation, but you are not accountable for their well-being. Remember, you can be supportive without sacrificing your own emotional health.
“When you learn to identify the red flags of narcissism, you take the power back into your own hands.” — Lisa Romano, The Road Back to Me
Navigating and Surviving Narcissistic Relationships
Recognising the traits of a narcissist is the first step toward protecting your emotional health. If you’ve seen these behaviours in your relationships, don’t panic—take action. Establishing boundaries, valuing yourself, and distancing yourself from manipulative behaviours are all crucial in surviving and thriving despite the narcissist’s tactics.
Remember, you are not responsible for fixing or saving them, and their behaviour is not a reflection of your worth. Protect your peace and stay grounded in your sense of self.
If this post resonates with you, like, share, and comment to help raise awareness. The more we share, the better we can help others recognise these traits and avoid falling into toxic patterns. Together, we can create a supportive community that empowers people to take control of their relationships and protect their emotional well-being.
