Beware the Alpha Male
In our current society all males are measured against this ideal of the “alpha male.” The problem is, this type of man often exhibits what is currently labelled as “toxic masculinity.” Toxic masculinity coerces cultural norms and behaviours that enforce rigid and harmful expectations of masculinity. Toxic masculinity is a phrase that is getting tossed around lately so what’s all the fuss?
Fuss - ignore at your peril.
In relationships narcissism and gaslighting are often intertwined with toxic masculinity, unfortunately toxic masculinity can manifest as an emphasis on dominance, control, and emotional suppression. This mindset often leads to issues like aggression, emotional distance, and an inability to express vulnerability or seek help when needed.
Watch out for the Narcissist.
Narcissism involves an inflated sense of self-importance, a need for excessive attention and a lack of empathy for others. When coupled with toxic masculinity, it can result in manipulative and controlling behaviours that undermine the well-being of partners in the long term.
And don’t forget about Gaslighting. Why?
Gaslighting is a form of emotional manipulation where one person seeks to make another doubt their perceptions, memories, and sanity. When coupled with toxic masculinity, it can result in manipulative and controlling behaviours that undermine the well-being of partners.
“2 million adults experience domestic abuse each year. On average, two women are killed each week by a current or former partner. 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men will experience some form of domestic abuse in their lifetime.” (UK Refuge)
So what’s the problem?
The problem is that the idea that there is only one way to be anything is ridiculous, yet that is exactly what toxic masculinity is; it is the belief that to “be a man” a male has to be aggressive, strong, tough, hyper-sexual and unfeeling.
So what about the men in touch with their softer side?
These men are unable to live up to this ideal and struggle to emotionally cope with the constant onslaught of bullying from peers, social media, family and the news is are turning more and more to violence to fill the void within.
How can we promote this more authentic version of men?
Mothers and fathers should start getting mad at anyone who shamed a male for expressing a “feminine” feeling such as fear, sorrow, vulnerability or submission; yes, even submission.
It takes a village to raise a kind, gentle, caring man who will be strong enough to cry and kick someone’s derriere if needed when he disagrees with the insensitivity of jokes slung at him from his “mates” at work, social media etc who make fun of him for being a hands-on parent?
It's crucial to recognise and call out these toxic patterns. In our relationships it is so important to encourage open communication (this can be difficult but persevere), mutual respect and emotional intelligence can help break down these barriers
Toxic masculinity refers to cultural norms and behaviours that enforce rigid and harmful expectations of masculinity. In relationships, it can manifest as an emphasis on dominance, control and emotional suppression. This mindset often leads to issues like aggression, emotional distance, and an inability to express vulnerability or seek help when needed.
As we delve into the complexities of toxic masculinity and its detrimental effects on relationships, it's evident that breaking free from these harmful patterns is crucial for fostering healthy and fulfilling connections. Ignoring the fuss around toxic masculinity is akin to turning a blind eye to the very real consequences it brings.
In our journey towards healthier relationships, it's imperative to acknowledge the insidious nature of toxic masculinity, which often intertwines with narcissism and gaslighting, creating a breeding ground for manipulation and emotional turmoil. The statistics speak volumes, highlighting the urgent need to address these issues head-on.
But here's where the power lies.
We can start by promoting a more inclusive and empowering definition of masculinity. It's about embracing vulnerability, empathy and emotional intelligence as strengths rather than weaknesses. It's about celebrating men who are in tune with their softer side, who aren't confined by outdated stereotypes but are free to express themselves authentically.
To achieve this, it takes a collective effort. Parents, partners, family, friends — everyone plays a role in challenging toxic norms and fostering a culture of acceptance and understanding. Let's raise our voices against the shaming of male vulnerability and instead encourage open communication, mutual respect and emotional awareness.
So, to all the ladies out there, I urge you to stand firm in recognising and setting boundaries against toxic masculinity. By promoting empathy, accountability and mutual respect in our relationships, we pave the way for genuine connection and growth. Together, let's create a future where both men and women can thrive in relationships built on love, respect, and equality.
If you found this post helpful, please share comments, ideas and ways we can move forward in creating and sustaining healthy relationships.
