What Our Men Do not Know About Menopause and Why It Matters
Let us begin with a quiet truth.
Menopause does not just happen to women. It happens to relationships.
While we are navigating hot flashes, brain fog, mood swings and a body that feels unfamiliar, our partners, especially our Black and South Asian men, are often left in the dark. Not because they do not care. But because no one ever taught them how to care through menopause.
In many households, menopause is treated like a private matter. In South Asian families, it is rarely discussed, even among women. In Black communities, it is often met with a shrug and a prayer and for men? There is no roadmap. No language. No safe space.
A recent survey by The Menopause Hub found that 60% of men said menopause negatively affected their relationship. Nearly half reported a decline in intimacy. But here is the deeper layer. Most men, especially in our communities, do not talk about it.
They feel confused when our moods shift. Rejected when intimacy fades. Helpless when we are in pain and they do not know how to help.
Some are even going through their own hormonal changes, andropause, but dismiss it as aging. So while we are burning up, they are burning out and neither of us knows how to name it.
This silence is not just emotional, it is cultural. Our men are taught to be strong, stoic and self-reliant. But strength without understanding becomes distance and distance, in a relationship, becomes disconnection.
So what can we do?
We start by inviting them in.
Not just into the conversation, but into the experience. We share what we are feeling. We ask what they are feeling. We learn together because menopause is not a solo journey. It is a partnership and healing begins when both voices are heard.
Let’s talk. Let’s teach. Let’s transform.
Have you noticed changes in your relationship during menopause? What helped you reconnect or what do you wish your partner understood? Share your thoughts below.
