Let’s Talk Love Bombing 1.0
Love Bombing 1.0 is a quick fire post on the confusing charm offensive that too many of us have mistaken for “true love.” Imagine this, you meet someone and suddenly it’s fireworks, front-row seats to their affection, 24/7 texting, surprise flowers and an engagement ring by week three.
Sounds like a fairy tale? Think again. This is less Disney, more psychological chess match.
Love bombing is not about love, it’s about control wrapped in compliments. This early phase of narcissistic or emotionally abusive relationships is designed to get you hooked fast. We’re talking about intense flattery (“I’ve never met anyone like you”), extravagant gifts, rushed future talk and constant contact, all carefully crafted to make you feel chosen… before they slowly chip away at your sense of reality.
But here’s the kicker, this isn’t always done with malice. People with trauma histories, ADHD, or anxious attachment may look like they’re love bombing when in fact, they’re trying to connect, but the pattern still matters. It’s not about judging intent. It’s about recognizing when your gut is whispering, “This is too much, too soon” and what is the tipping point between romance and manipulation? It’s often in the patterns we overlook, not the moments we highlight.
Now enter the Idealisation Phase, where you’re not just loved, you’re worshipped. You’re the solution to all their problems. You’re their twin flame, their soulmate, the one who heals them. Until, suddenly, you’re not. One minute you’re on a pedestal. The next? You’re wondering what went wrong. This cycle, idealise, devalue, discard, is the narcissistic playbook. The problem isn’t that you missed the red flags. It’s that they were dressed as rose petals.
But here’s where it gets powerful. Healing from this kind of manipulation means understanding why you fell for it in the first place and that doesn’t make you foolish, it makes you human. When your nervous system has been starved of real love, even crumbs can feel like a feast. But love that comes with anxiety, confusion, or overcompensation isn’t love, it’s control in costume.
So here’s the fun part, your healing era doesn’t have to be sad and heavy. It can be laced with humour, insight and real growth. You’re allowed to ask, “Is this real, or is it just a Netflix romance with a twist ending?” You’re allowed to slow it down.
Set boundaries. Reclaim your power Change is inevitable. Growth is optional and healing? That’s your choice.
If this post gave you the words you didn’t know you needed, don’t scroll past. Like to show you're done confusing red flags with fireworks. Comment if you’ve been there or helped someone untangle this web and share with a sister, mentee, or friend who needs the reminder, love should never leave you second-guessing your sanity.
You deserve a love that grows slowly, healthily and honestly, not a rollercoaster that starts at the top and crashes fast. The next time someone floods your inbox, your life and your heart, pause. Because real love respects your pace, not just their script.
