What Emotional Abuse Really Looks Like:
Stories Behind the Data
It is easy to speak in percentages. It is harder to speak from the gut!
When we say emotional abuse affects 95% of domestic violence survivors in the UK (Women’s Aid), what does that really mean? It means women like the London entrepreneur whose partner insisted on 'managing her schedule' slowly cutting her off from clients and family under the guise of support. By the time she realised she was being controlled, he had access to her business passwords and financial accounts.
In India, where NIMHANS research shows high under reporting of psychological abuse, women are often discouraged from speaking out due to family honour. One woman, a dentist and mother, shared in an interview that her husband routinely humiliated her in front of patients.
But when she approached her elders for help, she was told, "He’s stressed. Just be patient."
In Trinidad, a UWI participant said, "My grandmother stayed. My mother stayed. So I thought it was what we all did. You just cry in private." For many Caribbean women, abuse is normalised under the banner of resilience. Crying out is equated with weakness. Staying silent is seen as strength.
Post-pandemic, in the U.S., a Black executive based in Atlanta found herself managing an entire team remotely while being emotionally worn down by her partner during lockdown. He controlled the groceries, the car keys, even her access to Zoom. Yet, in meetings, she smiled. Because for many women of colour, survival is a performance.
What unites these stories across continents, cultures and class is not the specifics of the abuse, but the silence it demands. The way it reprograms the brain to second-guess, self-blame and eventually shrink. As Dr. Bessel van der Kolk reminds us “the body keeps the score.” These women weren’t failing. They were adapting to survive.
At SistaTalk, we centre these stories not for pity, but for power. We hold space not just for healing but for naming. Emotional abuse thrives in silence. These women? They are the echo breakers.
This Mental Health Month, we’re saying the quiet part out loud.
Mental Wealth Isn’t Optional
Finally, this Mental Health Month, don’t just participate, reimagine. Join us in building infrastructures of care. Explore our trauma recovery tools. Partner with us.
Refer our work because resilience is not the goal. Liberation is.
