When Obsession Looks Like Love: Honouring Naso and Every Woman Fighting to Break Free
“As you begin to detach from a narcissist, you realise, it wasn’t them that made the connection feel so intense. It was your obsession that made them seem so special.” - Sri Kaiser
This quote hits hard because for many women, the moment of clarity comes not in the middle of the relationship, but at the breaking point, when love has long since curdled into control.
Keotshepile Naso Isaacs, known to friends and family simply as Naso, was a woman with dreams. A mother of three, she had just arrived in the UK from Otse, a village in south-east Botswana. She came here to rebuild, to give her sons a safer, stronger future. Her smile radiated warmth, her devotion to her boys was undeniable and those who knew her called her “a beautiful soul.”
But on New Year’s Day, her light was extinguished. Naso was found dead in a home in North Berwick, Scotland. Her husband, Mompati Dodo Isaacs, has been charged with her murder.
What happened behind closed doors? What signs were missed? What pain did she carry alone?
Naso’s story reminds us that narcissistic abuse doesn’t always start with bruises. It starts with intensity. Obsession. The whirlwind. The “soulmate” love that quickly becomes surveillance. It’s being cut off from your friends. Being guilt-tripped for having your own voice. It’s the subtle conditioning that makes you feel like the chaos is your fault and when you finally gather the strength to say “enough” that’s when it turns dangerous.
Too many women, brilliant, loyal, resilient women are silenced in these dynamics and too many communities stay quiet, afraid to name the truth. You never really know who someone is marrying. You never really know what goes on behind the social media filters, the polite smiles, the perfect family photos and too often, by the time anyone speaks up, it’s too late.
We need more than mourning, we need action.
We need spaces for women to speak safely and be believed. We need trauma-informed services that understand narcissistic abuse is psychological warfare, not just “relationship drama.” We need better systems of protection and perhaps we need something radical. A national register that allows women (and men) to look up patterns of domestic abuse before it’s too late.
Because while we can’t change what happened to Naso, we can stop pretending that these are isolated tragedies. They are systemic failures. They are collective silences. They are missed opportunities to say, I see you and this isn’t love.
You Are Not Crazy. You Are Not Alone. You Are Not Powerless
If you're in a relationship that makes you question your worth, silence your voice or live in fear behind closed doors, know this, love should never cost you your sanity, safety or self-respect.
If you feel confused, manipulated or diminished, start by honouring that whisper inside you that says, “This isn’t right.” You don’t need permission to protect your peace. You don’t need bruises to prove your pain. You don’t need to wait for someone else to validate what your body, your heart and your instincts already know.
Start talking. Journal what you’ve been silenced from saying. Message a friend who’s safe and steady. Contact a support service that understands the nuances of narcissistic and emotional abuse and if you’re supporting someone else, don’t dismiss the signs. Don’t wait for “proof.” Don’t say, “I told you so.” Sit with her. Believe her. Help her build a plan and a future.
Healing begins the moment we stop calling survival “love.”
If this post gave you the words for something you’ve long felt but couldn’t quite explain, leave a comment, your voice matters here. If you’re tired of seeing red flags mistaken for romance, like this post to show you're done with the illusion.
If you know a sister, friend or colleague who needs to be reminded that her story is not invisible and her future doesn’t have to end in silence, share this with her. It might be the lifeline she didn’t know she needed.
