When Relationships Rotate Instead of Root.
There is a moment in many people’s lives when they realise the problem was never them, it was the instability of the ground they were standing on. Some relationships do not deepen with time. They cycle. People come in, people are pushed out and the pattern repeats. What looks like bad luck is often design.
In intimate relationships with narcissists or con artists, connection is not built for longevity. It is built for extraction. At first, the bond feels intense, even intoxicating. Attention is abundant. Validation is constant. But intensity is not intimacy. The moment boundaries appear or the narrative is questioned, the relationship begins to fracture.
Disagreement is framed as disloyalty. Accountability is recast as attack. Eventually, the partner is replaced, not because they failed, but because they stopped serving a function. The relationship never rooted because it was never meant to.
The same pattern shows up in workplaces, often disguised as culture. Leaders who rely on control rather than competence surround themselves with agreement, not challenge.
Microaggressions thrive here. Subtle exclusions, coded language, selective silence. Those who question bias are labelled “difficult.” Those who comply are rewarded. Teams rotate, talent leaves and yet the organisation insists the problem is performance, not power. Nothing roots because safety never existed.
Family systems can be the most painful place this pattern appears. In some families, love is conditional. Roles are assigned early and rarely revised. The peacemaker, the scapegoat, the achiever, the invisible one.
When a family member grows, heals or challenges the story, they are often met with withdrawal rather than support. “You have changed” becomes an accusation, not an observation. The relationship rotates back to old roles instead of rooting in truth.
Healthy relationships root because they tolerate discomfort. They survive disagreement. They allow repair. Where there is no empathy, no accountability and no room for growth, rotation replaces connection.
The question is not why people leave your life. The question is whether the environment ever allowed them to stay.
If this resonated, like this post, comment with what you recognised and share it with someone who is questioning why certain relationships never seem to take root. Awareness is often the first step toward freedom.
