The Empath & the Narcissist.

When Feeling Too Much Becomes a Trap

Empaths are wired to feel. Narcissists are wired to be felt.

This imbalance is not accidental, it is the exact magnetic dynamic that often draws empaths into toxic relationships with narcissists. One seeks to heal, understand and love deeply. The other seeks validation, control and power, often at any cost.

Empaths are often deep feelers, peacekeepers, natural listeners, over thinkers, emotional or sponges. These traits, when unguarded, become weapons in the hands of someone who knows how to manipulate kindness into compliance.

Reactive Abuse:

When Survival Looks Like the Problem

Ever found yourself yelling back, defending or lashing out after relentless provocation, only to be told you’re the abuser?

That is reactive abuse. A manipulative cycle where a narcissist pushes you until you react, then uses your response as “proof” that you’re unstable or cruel.

Remember:

The Con Artist Speaks from the Mouth, Not the Heart

The narcissist is not in love with you, they are in love with the game.

A performance.

A transaction.

A trick.

The Martha Stewart Guide to Spotting a Narcissist

(Warning: Highly Toxic. Not Recommended for Daily Consumption)

Welcome, friends. Today, we are not baking bread or crafting seasonal décor. Instead, we are stepping into the darkly fascinating kitchen of human behaviour to whip up one of the most destructive recipes of all, the Narcissist. While the ingredients may look tempting on the shelf, the finished product is always bitter, hollow and ultimately harmful.

Ingredients

• 2 Cups Inflated Ego

Are You a Female Narcissist?

At first glance, the female narcissist rarely looks like the villain. In fact, she often looks like the hero of her own glamorous story. Confident, magnetic and seemingly irresistible.

But beneath the surface is a pattern of behaviour that quietly corrodes relationships, leaving her partners questioning their sanity and their worth. Understanding these signs is not just about spotting red flags, it is about reclaiming your own perspective.

The truth about female narcissists is that they rarely appear dangerous at first. They move through the world with charm, allure and an almost magnetic confidence that draws people in. Unlike the caricature of arrogance, we often associate with narcissism, the female narcissist cloaks her toxicity in seduction, vulnerability or even playfulness, making her far harder to recognise.

Saving Yourself From Love Bombing?

Do not be fooled by your partner’s scheming love language.

It is called love bombing. This is a manipulative tactic used in romantic relationships to gain control over their partner. It involves showering the partner with excessive attention, affection and compliments, often in a very short period of time.

The goal of the individual is to create a sense of intense emotional bonding and dependency in the partner, making them feel loved, special and wanted.

Be warned, love bombing is not genuine and is often a prelude to a more abusive and controlling behaviour. Once the partner becomes dependent on the attention and affection of the love bomber, they may start to use their emotional vulnerability to manipulate and control them.

Signs of an Abusive or Narcissistic Relationship And How to Protect Yourself

The Common Manipulation Behaviours to Watch Out For

Gaslighting

They do something hurtful, deny it, then accuse you of “being crazy.” Gaslighting is a highly deceptive form of manipulation where the abuser commits hurtful actions, then flatly denies them, even asserting that you are “imagining things” or “overreacting.” Over time, this tactic chips away at your confidence, making you doubt your own memories, emotions and sense of reality. Victims often feel confused, anxious or like they’re going crazy.

Projection

Madea’s Idiot’s Guide to Narcissists

 “Alright baby, let me break this down nice and simple, ‘cause these narcissists out here will have you thinking you the one that’s crazy. Uh-uh. Not today. Here’s the tea:”

See, a narcissist will walk in your life smiling like they bringing you blessings from heaven, when really, they just brought chaos in a Gucci bag. They will flip the script so many times you will be dizzy, wondering if you forgot the plot. That is their game. They get power not by being right, but by making you question yourself. Next thing you know, you apologisin’ for something they did!

Do not let ‘em fool you, sugar. These folks ain’t got no cure, no fix-it kit and no “better version” waiting to come out if you just love them hard enough. Mm-mm. That’s like putting lipstick on a pig and wondering why it is still rolling…

What Relationships Mean in a New Era

The lines in the image, “Not to be rescued … but to be witnessed … Not for performance ,  but for partnership” bear a weight that feels almost rebellious today. As digital apps, shifting gender norms and evolving values remap how we meet, love and commit, the lived reality of relationships is changing fast.

But what does the data tell us about where we are now, especially for Black couples?

In the United States, the pattern is stark. Black adults tend to experience higher rates of marital dissolution than many other racial and ethnic groups. Studies show that at nearly every age, Black women have higher divorce rates than white women. In 2018, there were about 31 divorces per 1,000 married Black women, compared with 17.3 marriages per 1,000.

Under those conditions, conditional on ever marrying, a larger share of Black first marriages end…

Letting Go

The Doorway to Your Freedom

How to Release What No Longer Serves You in 5 Steps

You cannot walk into tomorrow’s promise dragging yesterday’s chains. Relationships, memories and even self-beliefs can become heavy luggage when their time has passed. Letting go is not about forgetting, it is about reclaiming the space in your heart and mind so you can walk freely toward what is meant for you.

Here are five empowering steps to help you let go and step into your freedom:

The Quiet Power of Real Love When You Move Beyond the Illusion

This single quote feels like a whisper against the noise of modern relationships. Relationship transformation begins in the quiet, when we pause and see patterns others overlook.

The Forgotten Dream

Many of us enter relationships believing love will fix everything

When Friendship Feels Like Medicine

Let’s Tell The Truth Today.

Some people drain you. Others restore you and then there are the rare souls, those sacred friends who leave you feeling lighter, brighter and more you after every conversation.

That’s not luck. That’s not coincidence. That’s spiritual alignment. These are the people who reflect back the best in you, not because they try to fix you, but because they see you. The friends that make you feel more alive are not ordinary. They are divine appointments, walking reminders that you are not alone on this journey.

In a world full of noise, hustle and emotional survival, soulful friendship is healing. It’s spiritual medicine. It rewires your nervous system. It teaches your heart how to exhale. These aren’t just people they’re purpose partners. You laugh louder, breathe deeper and love yourself better because they are in your life. That’s not something to…

When You Don’t Love Yourself, Love Hurts You More!

Many women unknowingly sabotage their happiness by settling for empty validation instead of real love. Research shows that low self-esteem in relationships often leads to insecurity, jealousy and poor partner choices because you end up believing you don’t deserve better.

When your worth relies on someone else, you stay silent, you shrink and you accept minimal affection as a treat. You might cling to unhealthy relationships hoping someone will “save” you and worse, stay in toxic dynamics that echo your own internal self-criticism.

This pattern creates a dangerous loop. A study shows women with low self-esteem doubt their partners’ love, downgrade positive moments and sense rejection, even when there’s none .

Navigating the Red Flags of Manipulative Behaviour

Feeling Unheard Or Confused Around Someone?

You’re not imagining it. Manipulation can be subtle or overt, intended to control your feelings, your actions and even your reality. Think of scenarios like refusing to communicate, rejecting accountability or twisting your words to serve their agenda.

Maybe you’ve noticed silent treatments, guilt-tripping, making you feel insecure or crazy or even blaming your past for their choices. These aren’t isolated incidents, they’re pieces of a pattern. Experts point out that these behaviours, guilt, obligation, fear and gaslighting, alter your emotional landscape and chip away at your well-being.

Stop Waiting for Permission,  Save Yourself

When it comes to abuse or betrayal in relationships, there is no negotiation, no excuse, no “let me see if they’ll change.”

You do not need perfect timing, more motivation or a better reason to walk away.

Research in trauma psychology tells us that physical abuse and infidelity are two of the most damaging relational betrayals, not just emotionally, but neurologically. When you stay in a cycle of abuse or betrayal, your brain’s fight-or-flight system remains on high alert.

When Control Masquerades as Love, Know the Difference and Choose Peace

Never forget narcissists are emotionally and cognitively “trapped in the mind of a two‑year‑old,” unable to truly reason, negotiate, cooperate, love or empathize. Instead, their world is built on ultimatums, demands, greed, egocentrism, bullying, temper tantrums, silent treatments and a constant refrain of “I WANT” and “GIVE ME.”

This blunt, almost jarring comparison to a toddler helps illustrate the immaturity and emotional volatility you might experience when interacting with a narcissist. It's not that they’re children in age, but they often react with the simplicity and self‑centeredness of one, flipping into aggression or withdrawal the moment their needs or desires aren’t met.

If you've found yourself on the receiving end of tantrums, relentless demands or manipulative silence, know that these behaviours are no accident, they’re emotional tactics. By likening them to a young child’s limited emotional development, this message highlights the core issue, a narcissist’s inability…

When the Excitement Fades, Don’t Stay Stuck in Confusion

In the early stages of a relationship, it’s easy to get swept up in excitement, hope and even fantasy. But what happens when that initial spark fades and the truth starts showing itself in patterns of manipulation, gaslighting or control?

Many people hesitate at this point,  stuck between doubt and denial, wondering if they’re “overreacting” or waiting for things to magically fix themselves.

The reality is, when unhealthy behaviours emerge, hesitation becomes your greatest risk.

Neuroscience tells us that repeated exposure to manipulative or abusive dynamics literally rewires your brain’s fear and trust centers. You begin to question your memory, minimise your experiences and fall into emotional paralysis.

RED FLAG WARNING: WHEN PUBLIC PRAISE HIDES PRIVATE PAIN

Let’s be clear, narcissists don’t always come with warning labels. In fact, in public, they often shine like stars. Overly agreeable, always the “perfect” partner, the life of the party, charming, witty and oh-so-lovable.

But behind closed doors? That charm curdles fast.

Public Persona

• Over-agreeing to win you over

Stop Doubting Yourself. You Are the Purest Love You’ll Ever Know. 

In relationships, romantic or otherwise, many of us were taught to earn love through force, performance or control. But what if the greatest shift you could make wasn’t about what you do… but what you allow?

You are not here to shrink. You are not here to mould yourself into someone else’s comfort or idea of love. You came forth into this life to remember who you truly are, a divine, sovereign, radiant being of light. You are the one you’ve been waiting for. And in this moment, as you read these words, you are already activating new levels of consciousness, beyond fear, beyond limitation, beyond control. You are not broken. You do not need fixing.

You need only remember.

• Choose your happiness over people-pleasing…

 Are You Having A Relationship Awakening?

Let me remind you of something deep and sacred today, your past, every broken piece of it, every tear you shed, every wrong turn you took in love was not in vain. It was the cocoon. It was the space where you were breaking, yes, but also being broken open… so you could fly.

You see, the butterfly does not look back at the caterpillar with regret. It does not say, “I should’ve crawled better.” It simply flies, knowing the crawling was necessary for the wings and just like that, you must honour your journey, even in love.

There is no shame in who you used to be. There is no guilt in the love you gave. What…

"I Got 99 Problems and You Ain’t One!"

So your ex had the audacity, the nerve and the lack of sense to text you,

“Baby I’m in jail.”

And now they want you to save them like you’re a whole SWAT team and a public defender in one.  Well baby, in the words of Madea…….

“I don’t do jail. I do Jesus… and even He got boundaries!”

You Don’t Have to Beg for Love: Healing Your Heart from the Inside Out

Far too many of us spend our energy chasing the bare minimum in relationships—romantic, familial or platonic. We shrink, second-guess our worth and find ourselves begging for time, affection or presence. But these are not signs of love—they are echoes of unhealed wounds. And though this pattern may not be your fault, it is now your responsibility to begin healing.

From a neuroscience perspective, our experiences of abandonment or emotional neglect deeply shape how our brain interprets safety and love. The amygdala, our emotional alarm system, becomes overactive when we perceive rejection. Over time, we begin to equate worth with struggle. But Louise Hay taught us a radical truth: we can rewire these beliefs…

Bless Yo’ Heart… and Yo’ Delusions”

Whew chile! Now you KNOW this one’s gonna ruffle a few feathers and stir a few chuckles too…

Imagine this: You’re minding your peaceful, unbothered business, glowing, growing, sipping your herbal tea and outta nowhere, a message pops up from your ex. And not just any message… but one of those messages: “Hey, I got someone better than you.”

Now see… in the past, that might’ve sent you spiralling. But not today, boo. Today, you're evolved. You're healed(ish). You're grounded in peace… or at least petty with purpose.

This post isn’t about revenge. It’s about reclaiming your power. Laughing through what used to hurt and remembering that closure doesn't come from them, it comes from within. But sometimes, it also comes in a sharp, three-word clapback that leaves no room for replies.

You’ll never find anyone like me!

Oh really?

That’s the whole point, sugar. I ain’t tryna find another headache in human form. One was enough, thank you kindly.

Let’s be clear, Madea don’t go backwards unless it’s to grab the remote or slam the door shut. When you’ve prayed for peace, cried through growth, and fought for your joy, the LAST thing you do is go diggin’ in the emotional trash can. If God removed them, don’t you go reinstalling what heaven already deleted.

Too many of y’all out here entertaining folks who should’ve been left on read in 2022.

Madea’s No-Nonsense Advice. Girl, Dry Those Tears & Walk Like You Own the Place!

“Now, baby, I love you, but we ain’t doin’ no cryin’ over somebody who got the emotional intelligence of a toaster oven. Uh-uh! No ma’am! Wipe them tears and listen up.”

First of all, you won. You hear me? You WON! This fool thought they was playing chess while you was just living life and now they sittin’ there confused ‘cause you packed up your self-respect and walked smooth out that game. That’s what I call a mic drop moment!

Madea’s Relationship Advice. If a Man....... 

"Listen, baby, if a man got more faces than a deck of cards, you better RUN like you in a track meet!

If he always blaming somebody else for his problems but ain't never got no solutions, oh baby, that ain’t a man, that’s a BOY who need a babysitter, not a girlfriend!

If he act all charming in public but behind closed doors he talkin’ crazy? Uh-uh! That ain't love, that’s a magic trick, he an illusionist, baby! David Copperfield got nothin’ on him!

Don’t get me started on these fellas livin’ in fantasy worlds. If he got big dreams but a lazy reality, he gon’ have YOU workin’ while he talkin’ ‘bout “one day I’m a be a billionaire.” Oh really? Well, one day ain't TODAY!

For Every Woman Who Has Survived Abuse, Manipulation & Gaslighting

This is for the women who have endured the lies, the control, the emotional warfare—the ones who have been gaslit, broken down and made to doubt their own reality. It’s for the women who have walked away from narcissistic partners, toxic love, and soul-crushing relationships—or those still fighting to break free.

Every week, women lose their lives to domestic abuse. Every day, survivors battle to reclaim their power. And every moment, there are women out there, just like you, who refuse to be silenced, who rise despite the pain, who fight to heal.

This song is a reminder of that fight. A reminder of the trauma Aretha Franklin endured—the pain behind the voice, the strength behind the music. When you hear this, let it be your anthem. Let it be a voice for all the women who didn’t make it, and a…

Toxic People: Know Them, Spot Them, Avoid Them! 

One of the most critical lessons in life and business is recognising the power of your environment. The people you allow into your inner circle—whether it’s a romantic partner, a work colleague, or a business associate—can either elevate you or pull you down. As Rich Dad Poor Dad teaches us, your environment isn’t just about the places you inhabit; it’s about the relationships you nurture.

Here’s the truth: Toxic people don’t always announce themselves. They often present as allies, mentors, or even friends, but over time, their actions and attitudes can reveal a darker side. Neuroscience tells us that these relationships don’t just impact your emotions—they directly affect your brain.

Own Your Power – It's Your Superpower! 

Ladies, let’s talk about something vital: owning your power and never giving it up for someone less deserving—whether in relationships, your career, or running your business.

Here’s the truth: when you compromise your self-worth, you chip away at your inner strength. Neuroscience shows us that when we allow others to devalue us, our brain’s reward centre is negatively impacted, creating patterns of low self-esteem and even stress. Over time, this rewires us to accept less than we deserve.

But guess what? The brain is adaptable—you can reclaim your power and reset your mindset! Studies have shown that practicing self-empowerment through affirmations, boundary-setting and surrounding yourself with supportive communities like this one can literally rebuild your confidence circuits.

Things That Cause Regret in Old Age

These are some of the things one might regret when they're older.

1. Marrying the wrong person

From Wounds to Wins: Healing Inner Child Patterns for Success and Connection

The wounds we carry from childhood don’t just show up in our personal relationships—they silently shape how we approach our careers, build our businesses, raise our families and engage with others. Whether it’s fear of abandonment; struggles with worthiness, neglect, or rejection, these patterns can influence decision-making, self-belief and success.

As women navigating leadership, business growth or family life, recognising and transforming these wounds is key to stepping into your power with confidence and clarity.

Here’s how these wounds show up and how you can begin the journey to healing and transformation.

7 Reasons to Celebrate a Message Like This

Turning Words into Your Power

Have you ever received a message from an ex claiming, "You’ll never find anyone like me"? At first glance, it might sting or make you pause—but let’s flip the script. Instead of letting it get to you, take it as a reminder of how far you’ve come and how much better your life can be without the drama.

These words aren’t about you—they’re a reflection of their own insecurity and fear of being left behind. So, let’s turn this moment into an opportunity to celebrate your growth, your freedom, and the bright future ahead of you. Because if you’re getting messages like this, it’s a sign you’re doing something right!

The Reality of Being the 'Other Woman': A Fantasy That Rarely Ends Well

The Allure vs. The Reality

Being the "other woman" might feel thrilling at first. You’re showered with attention, promises and the illusion of power. But let’s cut through the fantasy: history, real-life examples and cold, hard reality show that being in this position often leads to heartbreak, regret and a tarnished reputation. Look no further than the messy public lives of figures like King Charles and Camilla, Boris Johnson’s numerous affairs, or President-elect Trump’s often controversial personal and professional entanglements. These examples serve as a cautionary tale, not a blueprint for success in relationships.

When you’re the “other woman,” you’re not rewriting the rules of love—you’re often enabling the worst aspects of deception and betrayal, perpetuating…

Stop Being Addicted to Your Pain: It’s Time to Heal and Move Forward

Does this quote resonate with you?

For too long, many of us have allowed the weight of our past to dictate our present. We carry emotional scars, replay the same narratives, and unknowingly become addicted to the familiar comfort of pain, stress, and self-doubt. It’s time to break the cycle.

We often confuse survival with healing, but survival is only the beginning. True healing starts when you allow yourself to:

The Silent Game: How To Break You Without a Word

Neglect isn’t carelessness—it’s a calculated weapon. I don’t yell, I don’t fight, and I don’t chase. I simply vanish emotionally, leaving you questioning everything. Neglect isn’t just ignoring you; it’s stripping away your confidence, piece by piece, until you’re desperate for my crumbs of attention. Here’s how I play the game to perfection:

Step 1: The Setup

At first, I give you everything—love, attention, and validation. It’s addictive, isn’t it? You feel seen, important, and wanted. Then, I pull back without warning. The texts stop, the compliments fade, and suddenly, you’re met with silence. This isn’t by accident. I want you confused, wondering what went wrong, and scrambling to make me happy again. That’s how I shift the power—when you start working for the attention I once freely gave.

Step 2: The Emotional Withdrawal

Breaking Free from Dangerous Myths About Love

Let’s face it—love can be confusing, especially when we’re navigating dangerous myths and toxic patterns in our romantic lives. Many of us have unknowingly carried beliefs about love that create unhealthy dynamics, and it's time to break free from these patterns and build relationships that uplift and support us.

One of the most common mistakes we make is choosing partners based on our childhood experiences. Whether we realise it or not, the way we were raised can deeply impact our romantic choices. If you grew up in an environment where love felt conditional, you might unknowingly seek out relationships where you're constantly chasing approval. It’s important to reflect on how your past may be influencing your present,…

5 Opportunities to Reclaim Your Power After Your Relationship Breakdown

Relationship failure can feel like an emotional earthquake, shaking the very foundations of your self-esteem, confidence, and sense of identity. The pain of what may feel like "failing" in love often leads to deep psychological implications, including anxiety, depression, or feelings of inadequacy. The truth is, many of us see a broken relationship as a personal failure, when in reality, relationships are complex, and not every connection is meant to last.

Common mistakes people make after a breakup include rushing into a rebound relationship, avoiding self-reflection, and allowing negative self-talk to dictate their future decisions. These actions only compound the pain, preventing true healing. But here's the empowering part: recovery from relationship trauma, including narcissistic and predatory abuse, is entirely possible

5 Opportunities to Reclaim Your Power and Heal:

Remember, rebuilding after a relationship ends can feel overwhelming, but it's…

4 Signs Your Friend Is Sabotaging You—and What to Do About It

Friendship is one of the most valuable relationships in life, built on trust, support, and mutual respect. However, there are times when we realise that someone we consider a friend may not have our best interests at heart. If you’ve started to notice behaviours that seem to undermine your confidence, success, or happiness, you may be dealing with something much deeper: sabotage.

It’s a painful realisation to think that someone close to you might be sabotaging you—whether it’s in subtle ways or more blatant attempts to bring you down. The emotional toll of having a friend betray your trust can be overwhelming, but it’s crucial to recognise these behaviours for what they are and take control of the situation. Here are the 4 signs to watch for and how to navigate these tricky waters with power and grace.

6 Empowering Steps to Take If Your Partner Has Cheated on You

Finding out that your partner has cheated is a gut-wrenching, painful experience. It can feel like the foundation of trust has been ripped out from under you, leaving you lost and questioning everything. But here’s the truth: you are stronger than this moment. You have the power to decide how you move forward, and this can be a defining chapter in your life—one where you reclaim your strength, your dignity, and your sense of self-worth.

If you’re wondering what to do next, take a deep breath. You’re not alone, and you’re not powerless. Here are six key steps to help you navigate this difficult situation with confidence, self-respect, and clarity.

1. Feel Your Emotions—But Don’t Let Them Control You

The emotional whirlwind after discovering infidelity is intense—hurt, anger, betrayal, confusion. It’s important to let yourself feel these emotions…

How Understanding Love Languages Can Deepen Your Connection

Ever wondered why sometimes your efforts to show love don’t seem to hit the mark?

Too many times I bet. 

But have you ever wondered that the answer might lie in understanding the unique way your partner experiences love. Yes, we all have different love languages—ways in which we give and receive affection that resonate most deeply with us. Discovering and embracing these languages can elevate your relationship to new heights, creating a stronger, more intimate connection.

Each love language—be it Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, or Physical Touch—offers a distinct way to express and receive love. It’s important to know which one is your language.  When you tune into your partner’s love language, you’re not just trying; you’re making a meaningful impact. It’s about understanding what makes them feel truly valued and cherished and responding in…

Master the Dance of Independence and Togetherness in 7 Empowering Steps

In today’s fast-paced world, relationships have evolved beyond traditional norms. As women juggling careers, personal growth, and social connections, finding balance between independence and togetherness is key to building strong, fulfilling partnerships.

Let’s look at 7 simple steps to master this delicate balance:

1. Embrace Your Independence Independence is about maintaining your sense of self. Prioritise your passions, hobbies, and personal goals. Nurture your friendships and invest in self-care. When you feel fulfilled individually, you bring more vitality and positivity to the relationship.

2. Communication Is Key Open, honest communication forms the foundation of any successful relationship. Discuss your needs, boundaries, and expectations openly. Be willing to listen and compromise, recognising that finding common ground enhances rather than diminishes your independence.

Can You Really Find Love After Heartbreak?

Love is a profound and transformative emotion, and when someone tells you they love you, it resonates deeply. However, discovering that their words were insincere and dishonest can be emotionally (and sometimes physically) painful, leaving you questioning your worth and future.

It's crucial to remember that one person's deception doesn't define your value or your potential for finding true love in the future. Let me know what you think about these five essential lessons and empowering steps to help someone navigate this journey and emerge stronger than ever.