When Control Masquerades as Love, Know the Difference and Choose Peace
Never forget narcissists are emotionally and cognitively “trapped in the mind of a two‑year‑old,” unable to truly reason, negotiate, cooperate, love or empathize. Instead, their world is built on ultimatums, demands, greed, egocentrism, bullying, temper tantrums, silent treatments and a constant refrain of “I WANT” and “GIVE ME.”
This blunt, almost jarring comparison to a toddler helps illustrate the immaturity and emotional volatility you might experience when interacting with a narcissist. It's not that they’re children in age, but they often react with the simplicity and self‑centeredness of one, flipping into aggression or withdrawal the moment their needs or desires aren’t met.
If you've found yourself on the receiving end of tantrums, relentless demands or manipulative silence, know that these behaviours are no accident, they’re emotional tactics. By likening them to a young child’s limited emotional development, this message highlights the core issue, a narcissist’s inability to engage in mature, reciprocal emotional exchange.
Why this matters for survivors
Understanding this comparison is more than a symbolic insight, it gives you power. It frees you from blame and confusion when confronted with irrational outbursts or sudden withdrawal tactics. You begin to see that these "played-out" behaviours come from emotional immaturity and self‑absorption, not from your shortcomings.
Once you grasp this, it becomes easier to:
Recognise that it’s not your job to teach them empathy, they don’t have the capacity or willingness to develop it.
Stop explaining, justifying or negotiating, those efforts are met with tantrums or coldness.
Start protecting yourself by enforcing boundaries and refusing to cater to their unreasonable demands.
What you can do next?
Use this image as a mirror, reflect on whether you’ve endured any of its described behaviours. Have you been met with silent treatments that feel like punishment? Constant demands for emotional or material satisfaction? Bullying tactics when you didn't immediately comply?
If the answer is yes, it might be time to:
Begin documenting these incidents in your reality journal.
Share what’s happened with someone who can affirm your experience.
Implement firm boundaries: For instance, if demands aren’t met, you don’t engage or argue, you simply step away.
Reach out for help, whether through this group, a support line or professional counselling.
Taking Control Is the First Step In Protecting Your Peace
Those who demand with words like “I want,” “Give me,” “Do it now,” or who punish you for simply disagreeing are showing you exactly who they are, and exactly how little regard they have for your autonomy.
These aren’t signs of love or connection, they are hallmarks of emotional immaturity and control. Recognising this for what it is isn’t bitterness or cynicism, it’s wisdom.
It’s emotional self-defence and the moment you choose to see these behaviours clearly is the moment you start protecting your peace. That moment becomes your turning point, the point where you decide your emotional health will no longer be collateral damage in someone else’s power struggle.
If you’ve ever faced this, whether in your past or right now, know that your voice matters. Your story could be the lifeline for someone else standing on the edge of the same struggle.
Your experience, your hard-earned wisdom, could offer the very clarity someone else has been praying for. So speak it. Share it and if this message resonates with you, take that step of courage.
Whether it’s sharing your insight, standing up for your boundaries, or reminding yourself you’re not alone in this. Every time we speak truth, we help another woman realise she can reclaim her peace too.
This is more than just a conversation, it’s a movement toward healthier love, stronger boundaries, and unshakable self-respect.
Picture Source: Roman Derrick O
