RelationshipTalk

Madea’s Idiot’s Guide to Narcissists

 “Alright baby, let me break this down nice and simple, ‘cause these narcissists out here will have you thinking you the one that’s crazy. Uh-uh. Not today. Here’s the tea:”

See, a narcissist will walk in your life smiling like they bringing you blessings from heaven, when really, they just brought chaos in a Gucci bag. They will flip the script so many times you will be dizzy, wondering if you forgot the plot. That is their game. They get power not by being right, but by making you question yourself. Next thing you know, you apologisin’ for something they did!

Do not let ‘em fool you, sugar. These folks ain’t got no cure, no fix-it kit and no “better version” waiting to come out if you just love them hard enough. Mm-mm. That’s like putting lipstick on a pig and wondering why it is still rolling…

"I Got 99 Problems and You Ain’t One!"

So your ex had the audacity, the nerve and the lack of sense to text you,

“Baby I’m in jail.”

And now they want you to save them like you’re a whole SWAT team and a public defender in one.  Well baby, in the words of Madea…….

“I don’t do jail. I do Jesus… and even He got boundaries!”

Bless Yo’ Heart… and Yo’ Delusions”

Whew chile! Now you KNOW this one’s gonna ruffle a few feathers and stir a few chuckles too…

Imagine this: You’re minding your peaceful, unbothered business, glowing, growing, sipping your herbal tea and outta nowhere, a message pops up from your ex. And not just any message… but one of those messages: “Hey, I got someone better than you.”

Now see… in the past, that might’ve sent you spiralling. But not today, boo. Today, you're evolved. You're healed(ish). You're grounded in peace… or at least petty with purpose.

This post isn’t about revenge. It’s about reclaiming your power. Laughing through what used to hurt and remembering that closure doesn't come from them, it comes from within. But sometimes, it also comes in a sharp, three-word clapback that leaves no room for replies.

You’ll never find anyone like me!

Oh really?

That’s the whole point, sugar. I ain’t tryna find another headache in human form. One was enough, thank you kindly.

Let’s be clear, Madea don’t go backwards unless it’s to grab the remote or slam the door shut. When you’ve prayed for peace, cried through growth, and fought for your joy, the LAST thing you do is go diggin’ in the emotional trash can. If God removed them, don’t you go reinstalling what heaven already deleted.

Too many of y’all out here entertaining folks who should’ve been left on read in 2022.