Madea’s Idiot’s Guide to Narcissists
“Alright baby, let me break this down nice and simple, ‘cause these narcissists out here will have you thinking you the one that’s crazy. Uh-uh. Not today. Here’s the tea:”
See, a narcissist will walk in your life smiling like they bringing you blessings from heaven, when really, they just brought chaos in a Gucci bag. They will flip the script so many times you will be dizzy, wondering if you forgot the plot. That is their game. They get power not by being right, but by making you question yourself. Next thing you know, you apologisin’ for something they did!
Do not let ‘em fool you, sugar. These folks ain’t got no cure, no fix-it kit and no “better version” waiting to come out if you just love them hard enough. Mm-mm. That’s like putting lipstick on a pig and wondering why it is still rolling in mud.
The truth is, narcissists feed off your energy like it is an all-you-can-eat buffet. They want control, they want attention and they want you running in circles like a hamster on Red Bull. But here’s the kicker, they will never, ever take responsibility. Nope. They will burn down the whole house and then hand you the matches like, “Look what you did!”
So, baby, before we get into the steps, you gotta know this, you are not the crazy one. You just caught up in a crazy cycle with somebody who do not wan and change. The best thing you can do? Learn their playbook so you can stop playing their game. So here goes…..
1. They Always the Star of Their Own Show.
They think they the main dish, when really, they just the side salad.
Narcissists think they the Beyoncé, the Michael Jackson and the Pope all rolled into one. If you do not clap for them, They will guilt trip you like you ruined Christmas.
Narcissists gotta feel special. Not regular special, like ultra Beyoncé-level, 24/7. To do it, they will suck the energy outta you like a mosquito at a picnic.
2. Control is Their Favourite Love Language
They do not want peace, they want power. If they can keep you dancing to their tune, they winning. Do not waste your breath trying to explain yourself, they already rewrote the script.
Do not let them fool you with all that “we can work this out” mess. Uh-uh! They do not want solutions, sugar. They want control. It is like arguing with the TV, it does not talk back and you just look crazy. They do not want peace, they want power. If they can keep you dancing to their tune, they winning.
Do not waste your breath trying to explain yourself, they already rewrote the script. They want power, not peace.
3. Empathy? Baby, They Do not Even Know Her
You could be crying a river and they sitting there asking if you got a tissue ‘cause your tears are messing up their vibe. They do not feel your pain, they just calculate how to use it against you.
Research says narcissists got this disorder as a defence mechanism, like armour they built to protect themselves. But guess what? Instead of fixing their pain, they hand it out like coupons. And you pay the price.
4. Master Manipulators because They ain’t got no empathy
They slicker than butter on hot cornbread. They will lie, twist, spin and flip until you questioning your own shadow. Remember, just ‘cause they sound confident do not mean they telling the truth.
You crying? They yawning. You hurting? They scrolling. They do not feel your feelings, baby. They only care how your feelings can be used to benefit them.
5. The Victim Olympics
Oh, Lord. They always the ones “done wrong.” You call them out? Suddenly you the bad guy. You point out the lie? Suddenly they “so hurt” you do not trust them. Chile, please. They are slicker than butter on hot cornbread.
Do not be fooled, they are natural manipulators. Good at lying, good at twisting, good at making you feel like the fool. They will sell you a broken car and convince you it is a Tesla.
6. The Damage is Real
Doctors say all this emotional rollercoaster can mess with your mental health, stress your body and even make you sick. Then what do they do? Point their finger at you like, “See? You weak!”
Doctors say this kind of emotional abuse will jack you up, mentally, physically, spiritually. Stress, depression, even health issues. Then when you are down, they still point at you like you the problem.
7. Best Strategy? Do not Play
The number one way to “win” against a narcissist? Baby, do not even enter the game. You cannot out-argue them, out-love them or out-wait them. The only victory is peace, and that comes from stepping away.
The best way to deal with a narcissist is… drumroll please… do not deal with them! Do not try to fix them, do not try to change them, do not try to out-narcissist a narcissist. The game is rigged. Save your time and your edges.
Madea’s Bottom Line
“Listen here, stop try and save somebody who ain’t even try and save they own self. You can not heal them with your love. You can not fight crazy with logic. What you can do is pack your joy, your sanity and your car keys and go build a life that ain’t run by somebody else’s drama. ‘Cause peace of mind, baby, that’s the real freedom.”
Do not simply take Madea’s word for it. Psychologists like Dr. Ramani Durvasula (author of It's Not You) remind us that narcissists thrive on keeping you confused, blaming you and making you doubt your own reality.
Research from the American Psychological Association shows that emotional abuse, including gaslighting, manipulation and constant criticism, can be as damaging to long-term health as physical abuse, increasing risks of depression, anxiety and even cardiovascular disease. In other words, this ain’t just “bad behavior” it is a pattern that can steal your health and your future if you let it.
Do not get it twisted. Walking away do not mean you weak. It means you finally strong enough to choose yourself. Narcissists do not want love, they want control. They do not want partnership, they want power. But you? You were made for more. For laughter that do not come with conditions. For love that do not keep score. For peace that do not cost you your health, your money and your soul.
So, the next time they try to drag you back into their storm, remember, you ain’t obligated to drown with nobody. You deserve sunlight, not shadows. You deserve joy that do not come with bruises, visible or invisible.
Baby, let me tell you: the moment you stop playin’ their game is the moment you start winnin’ your life back. That’s when healing starts. That’s when freedom begins.
What to Do Next
“Stop try and plant roses in a concrete parking lot, baby. It ain’t gon’ grow. Take your love, your peace, your coins and your good wig and go plant them somewhere that’ll give you joy. ‘Cause if you stay, that fool will drain you drier than a Popeyes biscuit with no water.”
If this hit home, do not just sit with it. Do something small today that’s just for you. Call a trusted friend. Write down the truths you know in a journal so you can not be gas lit out of them later.
Look up a support group, a therapist or an online community where your pain is understood and your healing is possible. Every little step is you takin’ your power back.
Like, comment and share this with somebody who needs the reminder. You are not crazy, you are not broken and you are not alone. Do not forget it, Madea done told you so!
