Let’s be clear, narcissists don’t always come with warning labels. In fact, in public, they often shine like stars. Overly agreeable, always the “perfect” partner, the life of the party, charming, witty and oh-so-lovable.
But behind closed doors? That charm curdles fast.
Public Persona
Over-agreeing to win you over
It’s because they construct a fragile “false self” that must appear special, superior and flawless.
Every compliment and every validation is like fuel to a fire, that’s their narcissistic supply. But the moment someone questions them, points out a mistake or offers honest feedback, their world threatens to collapse.
Criticism isn’t just hurtful, it’s a “narcissistic injury” and when their fragile façade cracks, they often erupt into rage, invalidation or deflection, sometimes even becoming hostile, all to protect their carefully curated image.
Criticism cuts deep because it challenges the core lie they’re living that they’re perfect. If anything interferes with that narrative, no matter how small, they go into self-defence. They’ll ignore you, gaslight you, call you names or even invert the conversation so you’re the one on trial. This reaction stems not from logic, but from deep insecurity and wounded pride.
They do something hurtful, deny it, then accuse you of “being crazy.”
Gaslighting is a highly deceptive form of manipulation where the abuser commits hurtful actions, then flatly denies them, even asserting that you are “imagining things” or “overreacting.” Over time, this tactic chips away at your confidence, making you doubt your own memories, emotions and sense of reality. Victims often feel confused, anxious or like they’re going crazy.
You don’t have to be hit to be harmed. You don’t have to be screamed at to be silenced. Sometimes, it’s the quietest moments that hurt the most.
This post is for the ones who’ve endured:
The cold silence used as punishment
The eye rolls when you express your truth
Proud Sista!
Proud Sista!
Proud Sista!
Proud Sista!
Proud Sista!
