Narcissistic Abuse Support Group

Breaking the Cycle:

Understanding the Patterns of Narcissistic Abuse

There is a strange paradox when it comes to narcissistic abuse.

Survivors often describe it as both obvious and invisible at the same time. The lies, the manipulation, the twisting of words, they are all right there in plain sight, yet so skillfully hidden beneath charm, excuses or blame-shifting that victims often feel like they are the ones losing their grip on reality. Psychologists call this gaslighting, but anyone who has lived through it knows it as the relentless erosion of truth.

Research is increasingly confirming what survivors have always known. The damage goes beyond emotions. A study published in the Journal of Psychiatric Research (2019) found that survivors of narcissistic abuse showed significantly higher rates of anxiety, depression and PTSD-like symptoms.

The Martha Stewart Guide to Spotting a Narcissist

(Warning: Highly Toxic. Not Recommended for Daily Consumption)

Welcome, friends. Today, we are not baking bread or crafting seasonal décor. Instead, we are stepping into the darkly fascinating kitchen of human behaviour to whip up one of the most destructive recipes of all, the Narcissist. While the ingredients may look tempting on the shelf, the finished product is always bitter, hollow and ultimately harmful.

Ingredients

• 2 Cups Inflated Ego

Lest You Be Fooled

5 Reasons You Are With a Female Narcissist

At first glance, the female narcissist rarely looks like the villain. In fact, she often looks like the hero of her own glamorous story. Confident, magnetic and seemingly irresistible.

But beneath the surface is a pattern of behaviour that quietly corrodes relationships, leaving her partners questioning their sanity and their worth. Understanding these signs is not just about spotting red flags, it is about reclaiming your own perspective.

The truth about female narcissists is that they rarely appear dangerous at first. They move through the world with charm, allure and an almost magnetic confidence that draws people in. Unlike the caricature of arrogance, we often associate with narcissism, the female narcissist cloaks her toxicity in seduction, vulnerability or even playfulness, making her far harder to recognise.

🖤 The Con Artist Speaks from the Mouth, Not the Heart 🖤

The narcissist is not in love with you, they are in love with the game.

A performance.

A transaction.

A trick.

Reactive Abuse

When Survival Looks Like the Problem

Ever found yourself yelling back, defending or lashing out after relentless provocation, only to be told you’re the abuser?

That is reactive abuse. A manipulative cycle where a narcissist pushes you until you react, then uses your response as “proof” that you’re unstable or cruel.

Remember:

The Empath & the Narcissist. When Feeling Too Much Becomes a Trap

Empaths are wired to feel. Narcissists are wired to be felt.

This imbalance is not accidental, it is the exact magnetic dynamic that often draws empaths into toxic relationships with narcissists. One seeks to heal, understand and love deeply. The other seeks validation, control and power, often at any cost.

Empaths are often deep feelers, peacekeepers, natural listeners, over thinkers, emotional or sponges. These traits, when unguarded, become weapons in the hands of someone who knows how to manipulate kindness into compliance.

If you saw yourself in that list, you’re not alone. Many survivors in this group have spent years feeling responsible for someone else’s moods, chaos or cruelty. You’ve cried when they hurt you and still worried about their feelings. You loved harder when they pulled away. You forgave things that shattered your spirit.

When Public Praise Hides Private Pain

Let’s be clear, narcissists don’t always come with warning labels. In fact, in public, they often shine like stars. Overly agreeable, always the “perfect” partner, the life of the party, charming, witty and oh-so-lovable.

But behind closed doors? That charm curdles fast.

Public Persona

• Over-agreeing to win you over

Red Flags

What a Narcissist Will Never Do   And How You Reclaim Your Power

Notice how narcissists never ask about your feelings, never apologise, never cherish your accomplishments and definitely never make an effort just for you?

These aren’t slips, they’re strategic omissions. Psychology Today confirms that traits like lack of empathy, entitlement, manipulation and refusal to take responsibility are classic narcissist red flags .Their avoidance of real connection isn’t by mistake it’s by design.

Your Narcissist Awareness Checklist

Narcissistic Manager Wanted!

• Are you the type who thrives on control, admiration and strategic manipulation?

• Do you excel at presenting a polished public persona while calling the shots behind the scenes?

• If the thought of ruling with an iron fist while weaving just enough charm to keep your underlings hooked makes your heart race

….. then this position is tailor-made for you.

Why Narcissists Cannot Take Criticism?

It’s because they construct a fragile “false self” that must appear special, superior and flawless.

Every compliment and every validation is like fuel to a fire, that’s their narcissistic supply. But the moment someone questions them, points out a mistake or offers honest feedback, their world threatens to collapse.

Criticism isn’t just hurtful, it’s a “narcissistic injury” and when their fragile façade cracks, they often erupt into rage, invalidation or deflection, sometimes even becoming hostile, all to protect their carefully curated image.

Criticism cuts deep because it challenges the core lie they’re living that they’re perfect. If anything interferes with that narrative, no matter how small, they go into self-defence. They’ll ignore you, gaslight you, call you names or even invert the conversation so you’re the one on trial. This reaction stems not from logic, but from deep insecurity and wounded pride.

Break the Bond Before It Breaks You!

Stepping out from the shadows of trauma bonding is a journey of reclaiming your freedom and you don’t have to walk it alone.

Trauma bonds form when abusers cycle between cruel punishment and emotional reward, creating a dangerous pull that convinces you your happiness hinges on pleasing them.  This ongoing  toxic rollercoaster, alternating highs and lows, rewards and punishments, leaves you emotionally tethered, craving their approval even when it hurts.

Narcissists are particularly adept at weaving these bonds. Their cycles of charm followed by control foster an intense, one-sided dependency rooted in power imbalance It’s what psychologists call intermittent reinforcement, where unpredictable affection makes every kind gesture feel like salvation, deepening your emotional entanglement .

When Obsession Looks Like Love: Honouring Naso and Every Woman Fighting to Break Free

“As you begin to detach from a narcissist, you realise, it wasn’t them that made the connection feel so intense. It was your obsession that made them seem so special.” - Sri Kaiser

This quote hits hard because for many women, the moment of clarity comes not in the middle of the relationship, but at the breaking point, when love has long since curdled into control.

Keotshepile Naso Isaacs, known to friends and family simply as Naso, was a woman with dreams. A mother of three, she had just arrived in the UK from Otse, a village in south-east Botswana. She came here to rebuild, to give her sons a safer, stronger future. Her smile radiated warmth, her devotion to her boys was undeniable and those who knew her called her “a beautiful soul.”

Things a Narcissist Will Never Do for You and Why Claudia Kambanza’s Story Still Haunts Us

They’ll never ask how your day was.

They won’t care about your tears unless it’s about them.

They won’t apologise from the heart, only to regain control.

They’ll never uplift your friends, your dreams or your truth.

When Narcissism Hides Behind the Mission Statement

Leadership vs. Performance: A Workplace Reflection

We often think of narcissism as personal. Intimate. Domestic. But what happens when it walks into the office in a tailored suit, quoting company values and using “inclusion” as a marketing phrase?

Let’s go deeper.

Narcissistic leaders are often the ones who speak of morals they’ve never lived, just like the image says.

The Circle Around the Narcissist Is Never Accidental

They don’t operate alone.

Narcissists are often surrounded by three types of people:

• Those who enable.

• Those who ignore.

Emotional Abuse Doesn’t Always Leave Bruises, It Leaves Scars

You don’t have to be hit to be harmed. You don’t have to be screamed at to be silenced. Sometimes, it’s the quietest moments that hurt the most.

This post is for the ones who’ve endured:

• The cold silence used as punishment

• The eye rolls when you express your truth

When Silence Becomes Fatal:

Control, Not Accountability

They don’t want accountability, they want control. And when that control slips, some will kill to get it back.

This isn’t a metaphor. It’s happening in real time.

In April 2024, 27-year-old Kulsuma Akter was pushing her seven-month-old baby in a pram outside a women's refuge in Bradford, when her husband, Habibur Masum, tracked her down and stabbed her to death.

Never Again Knowledge, Healing & Protection After Narcissistic Abuse

Sis, let’s break the silence and speak truth in this sacred space.

Far too many women strong, intelligent, nurturing women have found themselves caught in the web of a narcissist or sociopath. And let’s be clear, it wasn’t because you lacked value. It was because they saw your light and made it their mission to dim it. But today, we take our power back.

The truth is, narcissists don’t prey on weakness. They prey on goodness.

They target people with open hearts and generous spirits. Women who forgive easily, who extend second chances, who see the best in others even when it hurts. But here’s the thing without the right tools, many of us didn’t even realise what we were up against. We mistook love bombing for love. We mistook gaslighting for miscommunication. We mistook control for care.

The Mask Never Slips – Until It Does

In the 1960s, a psychologist named Leon Festinger introduced the world to the theory of cognitive dissonance, the uncomfortable tension that arises when what we believe doesn't match what we do. Now imagine a life built entirely on contradiction. The narcissist's world is one of illusion—a constant act to preserve control, admiration and the fantasy of superiority. But there's a moment, often brief and terrifying to them, when the mask cracks.

That moment is what they fear more than anything: exposure!

Narcissists do not just lie to others; they lie to themselves. Neuroscience tells us…