During my early days of coaching, I discovered that each client had a unique unconscious statement, which is first formed very early on in life.
This statement can restrict them in their being, doing and having throughout their life.
I call this unique formula an 'I-statement', which is formed when a person experiences a significant emotional event (SEE). This causes them to unconsciously redefine who they believe themselves to be.
Your ego's role is to assist you with defining yourself, as separate from others and things.
When the ‘I’ is developed, so also is ‘the other’, as the ‘I’ forms a unique self with its own unique boundaries. As long as you have a concept of ‘I’, the boundaries remain.
"For many years I tried coaching, courses, counselling, reading books etc, in order to understand myself and how to be successful, and over the years I have had many revelationary moments, but none like this. Discovering my I-Statement was like finding a master key - that unlocks a treasure full of invaluable information. I cried when I realised how much I had been blocking myself, and how easy it is now to change the direction of my life." - S. Nelson
Your ‘I-statement’ is formed when you experience a significant enough event to affect your thoughts and emotions. Your ego unconsciously seeks meaning in what is happening and thus develops a re-defined self in line with the meaning that is drawn from the experience. This affects your perception of who you believe yourself to be, and what you are capable of being, doing and having. For example. Many children are happy-go-lucky little souls, until something happens that may make them feel bad, unhappy, uncomfortable etc about who they are. Because children often accept what is, they unconsciously re-define themselves and may become frightened, shy, unhappy, withdrawn etc.
As adults the birth of a child, a birthday, getting married, losing a job etc. are just a few events that have the ability to affect us unconsciously. All of these events can be driven by your I-statement, or have the ability to change it.
'My I-statement explained why for many years I was a 'people pleaser'. Even though I was aware of it, I didn't know how to stop it, or why I kept doing it. I always put other people's feelings first, and didn't express what I wanted because I didn't want to offend others. Knowing what my I-statement was, gave me all the answers I needed. I worked with Dionne to change it to something that would assist me with overcoming my unwanted habits.' - G. Hadencroft
Assists or restricts you in life in your being, doing and having.
Shapes the results you produce and the meaning you draw from them.
Shapes your Model of the World and the meaning you give to what you perceive and experience in life.
Informs your personal barriers, values, beliefs, attitudes, behaviours and habits.
Informs the content of your thoughts, feelings, words, and actions
Can unconsciously block you from achieving your best.
'Even today, after 8 months of knowing what my formula is, I am still able to relate things that happen in my life to my I-statement. I use it as my 'frame of reference' and even when things don't go according to my plans, I can still see the 'bigger picture' at work. - N. Stanley
In July, this year I was invited by Lynne Franks to conduct a presentation about I-Statements to her Seed Coaches.