Our Pain Is Not Imagined

It is Ignored And That Stops Now!

Let us get real about something so many women are experiencing it but are rarely allowed to name it. Black women are being left out in the workplace, in menopause conversations, in business dynamics, in healthcare and in relationships. It is not just frustrating. It is traumatic.

Their pain is not an inconvenience. It is not “too much.” It is real. Valid. Ignored. Research proves it.

Let Us Talk Trauma and the Cost of Being Unseen

Too often, women are told to “get on with it.” But chronic pain, exhaustion, mental fog, anxiety and emotional burnout are not normal they are signs of unacknowledged trauma. Whether it is:

• Being dismissed by a GP when you try to explain peri-menopause symptoms

• Being talked over in a business meeting where you built the strategy but someone else gets the praise

• Feeling unsupported in a relationship where you’re doing all the emotional labour

…it adds up.

Black women carry generational trauma, racial trauma, medical trauma and it often goes untreated because the world refuses to recognise it as trauma in the first place.Instead, they are called “strong,” “angry” or “resilient” code for “we expect you to suffer in silence.”

But silence has a cost. Unacknowledged trauma lodges in the body. It alters our hormones. It breaks down our immune systems. It wears out our spirit. It becomes health problems, strained relationships, lost businesses, missed promotions.

The Data Does Not Lie. We’re Being Ignored!

1. Black women reach menopause earlier (avg. 8.5 months before white women) and with more severe symptoms.Yet we’re less likely to be offered treatments. (SWAN Study, US)

2. Healthcare bias is real: Their pain is disbelieved, our symptoms misdiagnosed their experiences minimised.

3. Cultural shame keeps us quiet: Menopause, fibroids, anxiety  these are often not “dinner table” topics in their communities. But they should be.

4. Trauma and chronic stress accelerate aging. The “weathering hypothesis” explains how racism, sexism and microaggressions literally age Black women faster (Dr. Arline Geronimus, University of Michigan).

Trauma Is Not Just What Happens to You  It is What Happens Inside You When You’re Not Seen

As Dr. Gabor Maté explains, trauma is not the event itself, but the disconnection from self that follows. Every time women are gas lit by the system, silenced in boardrooms or ignored by medical professionals, they lose a piece of themselves and they internalise the belief that maybe our pain really isn’t valid.

But it is and it deserves attention, healing and justice.

In Work, Business and Relationships, This Is What It Looks Like:

• Being labelled “difficult” when you assert their boundaries

• Leaving jobs quietly because the menopause symptoms became too unbearable to manage

• Losing intimacy in a relationship because their body is changing and their partner does not understand

• Overachieving at work to prove they are still “capable,” while battling anxiety, burnout and hot flashes

This is not just about hormones this is about the system not making room for us.

What Needs to Change  And How We Lead It

• Workplaces must offer trauma-informed and menopause-inclusive policies.

• Healthcare must include Black women in studies, trials and treatment frameworks.

• Menopause and trauma support must be decolonised, accessible and rooted in our lived experiences.

Black women must give themselves permission to stop suffering in silence and speak up, even when their voices shake.

Your Pain Matters. Your Trauma Is Real. Your Healing Is Sacred.

This is more than advocacy it is a revolution of remembrance, resistance and rebirth.

For far too long, Black women have been the backbone but never the headline. Their labour holds communities up.

They build businesses, nurture families and navigate systems that were never designed for them all while carrying invisible wounds. Research shows these are not mere feelings, they are measurable outcomes of discrimination, neglect and erasure. For example:

• Studies show Black women reach menopause earlier, suffer more severe symptoms like hot flashes, sleep disturbance and depression yet are less likely to receive hormone therapy or other adequate treatment.

• In healthcare settings, a high proportion of Black women report being treated unfairly due to race, refusing or withholding pain relief or having their pain minimised. One survey found around 21% of Black women felt they had been treated unfairly by a provider in the last 3 years because of race or ethnicity.

• Black women also report perceived discrimination in medical settings that undermines trust, leads to delayed diagnosis and negatively impacts health behaviours. For example, in a study of Black women’s experiences with cervical cancer care, many described feeling ignored, dismissed or that their symptoms weren’t believed.

If you have ever felt dismissed, misdiagnosed, misunderstood or erased from the narrative  know this: you are not alone. You are not imagining it, because the evidence shows you are right.

Your story deserves space. Your voice deserves to echo. Your healing deserves to be witnessed.

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If this resonates with you, do not let it sit in silence. Like this post if you have ever felt unseen or unheard in your health, work or relationships. Comment to share your truth  your story could be the lifeline another sister needs right now.

Share this with your tribe so we can break the silence together. Your pain is real. Your voices matter. Your healing starts with being heard.